The "what ifs" "if onlies" and "should haves"

encroach upon my peaceful existence.

Memories from the past flood my mind

with unwelcome & unwanted images.

The feelings evoked are still as strong as the first.
A mingling of conflicting emotions

fear…anger

love…disgust

loss…grief

These thoughts remind me

of my past choices mistakes regrets

and fill my mind with doubts

about the roads not taken.
I struggle to dismiss these intrusive memories

but they return to haunt my waking thoughts,

Cause me to wonder about my decisions

and make me question the present course.
What emerges from these musings--a truth

"The past is just a part of who I am in the present."

Without the past--the joys and sorrows,

the victories and losses.

I would not be where I am now or who I am today.....